Christmas(ish) because, well, these films are a bit of a motley crew. A couple aren’t Christmas movies and a couple are but shouldn’t be.
~The Man Who Invented Christmas Shortly before Christmas in 1843, Charles Dickens finds himself short of money after a rather unfortunate series of flops. He lands upon the idea of a Christmas ghost story, inspired by his teenage housemaid, but then struggles to write it. He wanders the foggy streets of London finding inspiration in the places and people he meets, using snippets from here and there to create his own characters. When he settles upon the name of Scrooge, up he pops in the form of Christopher Plummer. From here the film becomes an entertaining mish-mash of Dicken’s real world with his imaginary one, with the story of A Christmas Carol getting a fresh new spin and with lots of cheeky winks and nods to Dickens. Dan Stevens (Downton Abbey) turns in a solid (although mildly manic) performance as the writer while Christopher Plummer steals the show as Scrooge. A fun and entertaining Christmas movie with all the trimmings.
~Millions Damian has recently lost his mother and has moved to a new house in the suburbs with his father and brother. In a nearby field at the side of a railway track, he builds himself a cardboard den where one day a big, black bag full of money falls out of the sky onto it’s roof – just in time for Christmas. Now, Damian is an authority on all things Saints and regularly converses with them for life advice, so it is his firm belief that the money has come directly from God and needs to be given to the poor. Older brother Anthony, however, has other ideas as to how the money can be spent – because, Christmas. Misunderstandings and mayhem galore ensue as Damian attempts to donate large wads of cash anonymously while the real source of the money is hot on his trail. It’s all a rather cheeky look at capitalism and the way in which money and happiness become entangled which is woven into a decidedly odd but charming Christmas story. The writing’s pretty thin but Alex Etel, who plays Damian, is brilliant and John Nesbitt, who is always amazing, plays his dad.
~Get Santa Jim Broadbent has a fabulously fun turn as Santa who crashes his brand new sleigh while on a test drive, leaving reindeer running amok all over London. During an altercation with the police Santa finds himself in a spot of bother- namely jail – forcing him to rely on nine year old Tom and his dad to break him out in time for his all important Christmas Eve gig. The problem is that dad doesn’t believe the whole Santa malarkey and he’s only just been released himself from the very jail where Santa is currently incarcerated. There are all sorts of hiccups to overcome of course — Steve is supposed to have Tom back to his mum by a certain time and then there’s the pesky problem of a meeting with his social worker, which really shouldn’t be missed, but of course is. But hey, what’s an ex-con supposed to do when Christmas is in need of saving. You could find plenty to fault in this movie, although I’m not sure why you’d bother. Broadbent is such twinkly awesomeness as he learns essential prison survival skills and gets a head full of cornrows, that he quite ably glosses over any cracks.
~Christmas Survival OK, so I said this was a list of British Christmas movies, I didn’t say they were good Christmas movies. This has a pretty good cast – Patricia Hodgson (a stalwart of British TV) Joely Richardson and Gemma Whelan of GOT fame, which does nothing to explain why this ends up as a muddled, chaotic farce of unruly children, chickens and an American doing coke in the bathroom. I include it only because, well, I have no idea of the general tolerance for ridiculousness in Christmas movies (I’ve seen more than my fair share of popular ones which make my eyes water) and because it’s possible that everyone’s had enough of squeaky clean Hallmark movies. This one has British accents and the requisite crumbly manor house set in the countryside which always give an air of superiority to even the stupidest of films. If you’ve had one too many sherries and put this on as background noise while you’re wrapping presents perhaps, it might – just might – pass muster. Probably not, but it might.
~Chalet Girl This isn’t set at Christmas at all, but it is set in the very Christmassy setting of the snow covered Alps so I figured I’d throw it into the mix. Felicity Jones plays a former skateboarding champ sidelined by the death of her mother. To help support her father she takes a winter job working as the hired help at the chalet of a wealthy family. Here she is subjected to a great deal of snobbishness as she hopscotches her way from one faux pas to another. A romance develops between her and Cute Rich Guy (of course) and she parlays her skateboarding skills into snowboarding ones, ultimately entering a competition. There are no big surprises in a movie which is pretty silly – but it does have a couple of things going for it. First, Bill Nighy has a (too short) role and he is always brilliant (oddly, Brooke Shields has an even smaller role as his wife). Second, Felicity Jones just has so much irrepressible charm that she is a delight to watch from start to finish and she manages to carry the weight of the film on her very capable shoulders. Silly and charming it may be, but doesn’t that just make it perfect for the season?
~The Railway Children I have fond memories of watching this movie one Christmas Eve as a kid so it is forever ingrained in my brain as a Christmas film despite the fact that there’s only a sliver of Christmas in it — but Christmas spirit it has in abundance. Set in Edwardian England, a father is arrested and his family forced to leave their comfortable house and relocate to a shabby little cottage in the countryside where they frequently don’t have enough money to pay for coal. Bobbie, Phyllis and Peter are frequently left to their own devices as their mother tries to write and sell stories to keep them afloat, so the children go down to the neighbouring railway track and wave to the trains and become friends with those who work at the railway station. Things happen, with the kids coming to someone’s rescue one day and then needing help of their own another. It’s all very tame stuff by modern standards, but it’s sweet and gentle and kind. The version I watched as a kid was the original 1970’s one. The 2000 remake seems to be the only available one to watch right now. They are both good and I love the fact that Jenny Agutter played a child in the first and the mother in the second.
~The Lion In Winter Another non-Christmassy Christmas movie set almost entirely on Christmas Eve and with that finest of Christmas movie hallmarks – a family get-together that goes horribly wrong. Set in 1183 Peter O’Toole plays Henry II who must decide which of his sons will be his successor. He has something of an idea but his Queen, Eleanour of Aquitaine, played by Katherine Hepburn, has another. As do each of his sons. Let the games begin. A very young Timothy Dalton and Anthony Hopkins also star, but really, it’s Katharine Hepburn who steals the show with her barbed tongue and caustic wit, delivering lines as only she can. She is a vision not to be misssed and while there is a hefty dose of that old-movie melodrama, it is savagely funny. The dialogue is wicked and biting and Hepburn and O’Toole toss it back and forth like the proverbial hot chestnut. Not only will this serve as a palate cleanser between more treacly movies but it will make your own family gathering look positively peachy.
~Father Christmas Is Back Four very different sisters unite for Christmas at the Yorkshire manor belonging to the husband of one sister, Caroline. Uptight Caroline is a bit of a control freak and is determined that Christmas will be perfect, damn it. Unfortunately she is saddled with a most uncooperative family. And to top it all off their Father (Father Christmas because Christmas is the family surname) who absconded 27 years earlier has decided to return home with a very young girlfriend in tow. Chaos ensues. Benny Hill kind of chaos. Crazy, over-the-top, trite, ridiculous chaos. Unfunny chaos full of misunderstandings, secrets and sexual innuendos. And the craziest thing of all is that it has a star-studded cast: Caroline Quentin, Kris Marshall, Elizabeth Hurley and the likes of Kelsey Grammer (!) and John Cleese (!!). They cannot save this dreadful, dreadful ugly sweater of a Christmas movie. I include it here merely to warn you against it. Unless of course you happen to be a big fan of ugly sweaters.
~Silent Night Keira Knightly and Matthew Goode star as a couple living in a cosy house in the English countryside who have invited a handful of family and friends to attend Christmas dinner. All the familiar elements of last minute stress are there as the couple struggle with final details and kid issues as people begin to arrive –but it doesn’t take long for things to feel a bit, well, off. Through tiny little details it becomes apparent that something big is going on in the outside world and is clearly setting everyone on edge. What exactly that is is teased out over the course of an hour or so, during which there are conversations that settle on race, class, parenting, and the selfishness of the human race. It’s dark and funny and has an underlying menace which is unnerving. Unfortunately, and this is unfortunate indeed, it just doesn’t manage to land all of its punches. It has an intriguing premise, lots of dark humor, flashes of brilliance a stellar cast and yet manages to fall short in that way that you can’t quite put your finger on. Despite this however, it has a premise intriguing enough to make it worth a look.
~Christmas At Mistletoe Farm Only to be watched if you are no older than seven. Maybe eight if you’re a bit of a rule breaker.
