A member of your staff recently brought it to the attention of many of us that you are feeling rather victimised by the constant barrage of negativity being levelled at you. In hindsight we should have seen how sad you are about this. It is, after all, a word you have used in many a tweet. We can only extend our deepest apologies at this time for not being more aware of your suffering. Maybe you will find it in your heart to forgive us when we explain that we have been a little distracted of late.
You see, there is a great deal of sadness in our country at this time. In the last couple of years there have been so many terrible things that have taken place that it has become almost too difficult to keep track of them all. Elections, hearings, hurricanes, shootings, hate crimes, immigrant issues. So many broken hearts, so many lost lives, so many families shattered into a million pieces and scattered to the wind.
But we all see the grievous error of our ways now. Instead of comforting each other, we should have been comforting you.
We have failed to see the heavy burden of responsibility you endure as President of the United States and even after cutting back your hours to just three a day and golfing every weekend, your stress appears undiminished.
We believe that what you might be in need of right now is some therapy. Perhaps a group session for victims would help to ease your pain. The Puerto Ricans will be there. They will be sure to explain how a roll of paper towels is an enormous help in a time of anguish. And the victims of gun violence? They’ll be there too. They will be able to share how thoughts and prayers go such a long way to putting broken lives back together again.
You’ll be able to meet the LGBTQ community. They are experts at deflecting the slings and arrows of intolerance and hostility. And they know all about witch hunts.
There will be Black people. And Jewish people. And people of the Muslim Faith. It is their insight which will most likely prove to be of the utmost value to you during these trying times, for they have the experience of hundreds of years of dealing with hate and persecution. They know better than anyone how words can be like steely barbs, cutting deep and leaving scars that refuse to heal.
And let’s not forget the women. Oh, the stories the women could tell you. About disrespect. And fending off harassment. Not to mention unwelcome hands. And betrayal. So much betrayal.
And the media will most likely be there. They are pretty new to all this victim stuff, but they’ve just taken an unexpected crash course in it. I’m sure they’ll have lots to say.
And, if you’re really lucky, President Obama himself will show up. He has walked in your very same shoes after all and has himself been subjected to some rather appalling accusations. I know he will be delighted to share his own experience and his words are so eloquent, so wise that they could not possibly fail to be a soothing balm to your current fragile sense of self.
Indeed, I am confident that all of these people will welcome a fellow victim into their fold with open arms, happy to offer you their comfort and support.
But rest assured, we see clearly now the torment you endure when we question your lies, your integrity and your racist comments. We are beginning to understand how unfair it is to you when we refuse to stand by silently as you bully and slander and name call. We deeply sympathise with how hard it must be as we decline to entertain your fear mongering, your bigotry, your messages of hate and your spiteful rhetoric. And we are just now beginning to fathom the depths of your frustration as the media dares to print the truth. Every. Single. Day.
But don’t worry Mr President, we have your back. As a nation, we vow to put an end to your suffering as soon as we are able. You might have to hang in there until 2020, but if at all possible we will do our utmost to make sure it happens sooner.
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